How I chose my job
Following my autism diagnosis aged 27, a lot of things suddenly made sense. I made some big life changes as a result, including a change of job. Below I’ve shared the process I went through to make that decision, and the positive impact it has had.
Prior to my autism diagnosis, I was very focused on my career. I was working in Tech, leading a small department, and on a “progress into managing more people” sort of track. I was succeeding. By my own internal measure of what I “should” be doing with my life, anyway…
I was also exhausted. In a constant cycle of burnout. Having periods of time off work when it all got too much (often). Dreading most if not all of the interactions I had with colleagues. Turning up to the office and having to go straight back home because I was in tears with absolutely no clue why.
It wasn’t straightforward, though… I ended up signed off work for three months around the time of my diagnosis. I physically could not carry on with work anymore. I was crying all the time, and struggling to process everything I was going through. It certainly didn’t help that I was living alone during a COVID lockdown at the time.
There was a long period of recalibration. I eventually went back to my job, with fewer duties and some adjustments. But it still wasn’t sustainable.
I had been doing what I thought I “should”, rather than what was sustainable for me. Not understanding the impact that any of it was having, or why. I had been missing a huge part of the equation.
To help with my transition back to work, I was granted some time with a coach who specialises in autism at work. We worked through my strengths (e.g. data analysis), my challenges (e.g. managing people), and wrote out a pros and cons list of all the options I had.
I was fortunate to have a couple of potential jobs that I could work towards, including a less people-ey role within the organisation I was already working at. Once we’d written out the pros and cons of each (e.g. a pro of staying where I was = I already know everyone and understand the business; a con of staying where I was = it is a fast-paced Tech company, meaning a potentially high rate of change in any role).
I went for an analyst role back in the education sector, where I had begun my career, and where I feel a very strong sense of purpose. The role involves less interaction with people, more autonomy… and the public sector comes with a much slower rate of change than where I was working at the time!
It also made it clear what boundaries I needed to set to protect my mental health going forward. I told my now-manager that I could only accept the job if it meant full-time working from home, and no line management (despite line management being a part of the job description). Luckily, she accepted! And I have never looked back.
I feel extremely motivated by my work and the purpose behind it. I am in a team where I can truly be myself, and who I feel lucky to work with.
When I do have difficult periods at work, we have strategies to reduce the work pressure. We can share work around, press pause on certain tasks, or I can retreat and put an out of office on while still working in the background. The latter helps remove the feeling of expectation and pressure to get things done. Within a day or so I usually feel able to go back to “normal”.
There was a while where I felt a sense of loss. For what I thought my career was going to look like, “who” I would be… But put that up against the benefit to my mental health of making these changes, and there’s no comparison.
Changing jobs was definitely one of the biggest and best decisions I have made since my diagnosis.
October 2023
