Impact of workplace restructure
Navigating a workplace restructure can be challenging for anyone, but as an autistic person, the upheaval can feel particularly overwhelming. Recently, our team underwent a significant restructure, as well as several colleagues moving on.
I crave consistency and certainty in all areas of my life. I need them in order to function well. Unfortunately, those are two things that are almost impossible to achieve at work in this context. The experience has had a big impact on me, and continues to do so, even now almost one year on from when it began.
The immediate aftermath: overwhelmed and struggling
The familiar “ways” and people that I had grown accustomed to were suddenly gone, replaced by a whirlwind of new dynamics and expectations. Some days were particularly hard. I found myself feeling tearful and disengaged, even contemplating leaving altogether. I LOVE my job and my organisation, so this was a big red flag for me! I felt resentment too, towards colleagues who seemed to be coasting along just fine, or even enjoying the change (what?!), while I felt like I was barely holding on.
A collective struggle
. In fact, it seemed like we all fell apart in our own ways during this period. The sudden changes affected each of us differently, but there was a shared sense of disorientation and stress. The support network that we had built within our team felt a bit fractured as a result, and this added to the feeling of isolation and overwhelm. Perhaps we need at least one of us to be “ok” at any given time in order to hold things together!
Finding a new normal: a slower pace of adjustment
Looking ahead, things are starting to feel a bit more stable, but I feel as though it has taken me a lot longer to catch up compared to my colleagues. Even now, when something new or unexpected comes up, I still find myself panicking. Just this week there was an example of discovering I might have done something that someone else considered “their job” and (even though I had not done anything wrong) it left me feeling confused and upset all over again.
A mix of frustration and acceptance, as is so often the case when it comes to anything autism-diagnosis-related for me.
Strategies for coping and moving forward
Reflecting on it now, there are a few things that have helped me to support myself with these changes:
1. Open communication: I’ve tried to maintain open lines of communication with my colleagues and manager about how I’m feeling and what I need. This hasn’t always been easy, but it’s crucial for ensuring I have the necessary support. Sometimes just sharing – without needing a “solution – is all it takes to feel a little better. Often, they are feeling the same, or have done at some stage within this process, and that can be reassuring.
2. Self-compassion: Reminding myself that it is okay to take longer to adjust. Comparing my progress to others only adds to my stress, so I have to try and focus on my own journey, and give myself permission to take more time.
3. Seeking support: Whether it’s through formal coaching or informal peer support, having people who understand and validate my experiences has been invaluable.
The impact of the workplace restructure has been significant, and navigating it as an autistic person has brought additional challenges.
Moving forward, I’m hopeful that I will find my footing again, even if it takes me a bit longer than others. For now, I’m focusing on taking each day as it comes, establishing new routines, and being patient with myself as I adjust to this new normal.
October 2024
