Setting workplace boundaries
As an autistic person, setting boundaries at work is not just a matter of personal preference; it’s a vital part of maintaining my mental health and preventing burnout. While I’ve grown more confident in advocating for myself, this has been a gradual process.
Even now, I sometimes question my needs, especially when I see colleagues who seem to handle everything effortlessly. However, I’ve come to understand that what might seem like small adjustments can have a significant impact on my well-being. For me, it isn’t about the big “formal” adjustments – those feel much more clear cut and easy to maintain. Instead it is the everyday details that, if overlooked, can quickly build up and become overwhelming.
Why boundaries matter
For me, maintaining clear and consistent boundaries helps me navigate my work and reduces my stress. It has taken time to build up the confidence to advocate for myself. Seeing others cope seemingly well with various challenges sometimes makes me doubt myself and my needs. But these little things, which might seem minor in isolation, build up rapidly if left unchecked. They can be easy to dismiss in the moment because I sometimes feel like I am making a fuss or inconveniencing someone else. But recognising their importance has been a game-changer for my mental health.
How I set boundaries
A lot of this has come through trial-and-error. Discussing something with my manager and testing it out, or just trying things myself. As well as that, I worked with a workplace coach (funded via Access to Work) and that has helped me a great deal. That experience was invaluable in helping me appreciate the impact of seemingly small adjustments. I’ll write more about my experience with the coach in a separate post, but for now, I want to focus on the practical steps I take.
What boundaries look like for me
Those are much more concrete in my case, and therefore easier to maintain or know when there is an issue. Instead, it’s about the smaller, more subtle things that affect my work life on a daily basis. Here are some of the key boundaries I maintain:
1. Start/Finish/Break times:
Having clear and consistent start, finish, and break times is crucial for me. Any deviation can throw me off, so I ensure these times are well-defined and adhered to. This helps me maintain a routine, know what to expect, enables me to plan around them, and therefore reduces anxiety about the workday’s structure. I am lucky to have flexibility to decide these for myself, so I can just put them in my calendar and do what I need to do.
2. Meeting agendas:
I always request an agenda for meetings. If I don’t get one, I make it clear that I won’t be able to give a full response until I’ve had time to think things over. This helps me feel safer going into meetings and ensures I can contribute effectively without feeling overwhelmed or feeling like I’m going to be put on the spot. In some cases, that means specifically telling someone in advance. In other cases it’s as simple as reminding myself beforehand: “it is ok to say that I’ll need some time to think and I will send something by X date” Some people are great on the spot, others are not, but my colleagues know that when I say I’m going to do something – I will! So no one has ever had an issue with me saying I will think something through and get back to them later.
3. Turning off notifications:
When my brain feels overloaded, I turn off notifications. I inform those who might be affected how they can reach me in an emergency, so that I’m not completely unreachable. But otherwise, I don’t see ad hoc questions or requests coming through. This is essential because unexpected messages can be highly distracting, and absorbing others’ stress can quickly drain my energy. By managing my notifications, I can focus better and protect my mental space.
It’s about recognising and advocating for my needs, understanding that small adjustments can make a big difference, and having the confidence to implement these changes. While this journey has been challenging – and I am definitely not done with it – this is already having a significant impact on my well-being at work.
June 2024
