Are we speaking the same language?

When we are interviewing someone for a job and the interviewer is speaking French, but the interviewee is speaking Spanish, who has the deficit in communication? What if the employer is communicating through sign language but the employee does not understand sign language, who then has the communication deficit?

In each of these cases, there is not a communication deficit, but there is a difference in communication style. Neither communication style is superior to the other, although I am sure some would argue they are. In order to communicate effectively these differences, have to be acknowledged and strategies implemented to mediate a middle ground of communication. Let us take for example multi-nation meetings, headphones are used to translate one language into another to include everyone from all over the world. How successful do you think these meetings would be if one country demanded their language was the best and everyone had to communicate in it, regardless of their ability to do so?!

While there are many similarities with the way autistic and non autistic people communicate, there is are also some distinct differences. For me, the key difference is clarity of expression.

The language of autism does not communicate in hidden meanings and vague expressions like other languages do, we communicate in specifics and details. This simple difference can cause so many problems when it comes to employability.

As an example, I want to reflect on a recent job interview. I found a job advertised on a popular webpage and the title of the job reflected the areas I wished to pursue as a career. I downloaded the job description and personal specification to build a picture of what the job entailed. And as a result of that….. I still had no real picture of what the job would look like in practice. When we think of communication we always think of talking, but the differences in languages are just as prevalent in written form. And this job description was clearly written in a different language than mine!

The list of ‘main responsibilities’ were vague, unspecific and wide ranging. Needless to say, the 31 different bullet points in the list of ‘main responsibilities’ did not help me understand what job I was applying for.

Now I know many would argue that the job description needs to be vague in order to ‘cover all bases’ but for me it significantly increased may already high-end levels of anxiety as I went into the job interview.

Firstly, because I knew at the end of the interview I may be asked if I still wanted the job, I didn’t know how to know if I did or not! And secondly, how can I demonstrate I am the best person for the job if I don’t know what that job really is?

One of the areas, I have been told, I do well in applying for jobs is the personal statement and this is where is it important to recognise the strengths of the autistic language, instead of always assuming a deficit-based approach. When I write a personal statement, I take the Personal Specification list for the job and literally go bullet point by bullet point and give an example of something I have done that demonstrates that skill.

I use my focus on specifics and detail to my advantage!

Ironically, despite the vague information the employer gives us, this logical and systematic approach to language is actually welcomed, at this stage! I think there is a great appreciation of this style of communication in written form than there is verbally, but that just my perspective!

Once I heard I was invited to interview I emailed to say I was accepting their invitation and asked for reasonable adjustments to be made to the interview as I was autistic (I don’t like the word disclosing, as it’s not like I was telling them something I was ashamed of!). After a bit of to-and-fro about what reasonable adjustments I was asking for (first warning flag, they obviously weren’t prepared for this request), I asked for information of who was to be in the interview and what broad areas were to be discussed. In response I was told that they hadn’t decided on the questions yet! As I’m writing this, I’m envisaging some audible gasps as people read this! I know I did (second warning flag, a week before the interview how could they be so disorganised?). As I am sure many autistic people would appreciate my already heightened anxiety now went through the roof. How do I prepare my brain to speak to unfamiliar people, if I don’t know what they will ask me?

Days of not sleeping and severe anxiety resulted in defence mechanisms, and therefore on the day of the interview my ‘mask’ was firmly fixed.

During the interview the mismatch of languages were very evident, I was asked vague questions with unexplained acronyms included and I had to guess what they were expecting me to give in return.

What makes me frustrated, even now, was I was working incredible hard to communicate in their language, but they showed no understanding or willingness to adapt to mine. At the start of this blog, I wrote that successful communicating across different languages requires finding a middle ground and while I was searching for it, this wasn’t reciprocated. Even though, and this is important, I had made it very clear to them on my application and when asking for reasonable adjustments that I was autistic!

There were lots of examples on the day, of the language of autism not being appreciated and accommodated for. Whether it was poor written communication, poor organisation or poor verbal communication.

But despite all that, I found a way to cope and to make reasonable adjustments for them and their different communication style.

And even though I wasn’t successful in the job (and this isn’t a bad thing as ‘good communication strategies are for life not just for interview’ and this clearly wasn’t going to be evident in this organisation) I felt proud in myself that I had managed to accommodate them, even if they hadn’t me!

As autistic people, we are told all the time we have a deficit in our ability to communicate with others. But why are we to blame? We have a different communication style, I agree, but if we view this in the same way we would other languages, then our differences should be acknowledged as equal to others.

By valuing the language of autism, it would become reasonable to expect accommodations are implemented to ensure effective communication by all parties.

Barbara Sandland

November 2022